Chew Chew Bamboo

My dad in law has a dog called Tessie who really likes to chew on things, and because I really like Tessie, I often bring her tennis balls which she destroys in minutes.  I like watching her do that.  All in all, there is a lot of liking between us, and therefore I come up with these sweet little things to say to her while I watch her chew.  That's how chew chew bamboo came about, or at least I think so.  I even designed and ordered a hooded jumper from Zazzle saying chew chew bamboo.  It's my thing.

Tessie doesn't have anything to do with the Hakone Gardens, though.  I just saw the bamboo Instagram and made some odd connection.  The other titling option was "bambookeh", but since there's no bokeh in this bamboo Instagram, it wouldn't have worked.  Not that it makes any difference whatsoever to you, anyway.

Saratoga Village is reminiscent of Carmel, only not nearly as cutesy or pricey.  It has a view to the mountains instead of a beach, otherwise its main street provides similar tacky art and overpriced food.  I am guessing that if I lived there, I would go mad with boredom in exactly a week.  

The "Kitty and Bear were Here" is a rare opportunity for me to see my own feet.  It's getting hard these days to do so. 

A set of personal shots from the Gardens - here.

A set of artistic shots from the Gardens - here.

The Pregnancy Report: A Big Deal

It really is a big deal.  I'm 32 weeks along, I'm huge, and the closer we get to April the faster my heart beats.  Having a baby is freaking me out and making me feel absolutely wonderful at the same time.  Here's the pregnancy report for March:

1. Every time I pass by a full length mirror I stop for a double take. Who is this?!  

2. I am grateful to our families and friends who helped us get the things we need for the baby.  We're almost ready, thank you so much, guys!

3. The childbirth class was equal parts useful and hilarious.  I promised not to talk about it but I lied.  It was good to see the hospital birth rooms and to know what to expect, to learn in detail about the labor process (which was also quite yucky), and to ask questions to a professional birth consultant (doctors are always too busy to answer them all, aren't they?), but her conviction that giving birth is going to be "the most profound experience of your life" was absurdly funny.  She only discarded a few other enormously gratifying moments such as, say, flying in Space, curing AIDS, and winning a Nobel Prize.

4. Breathing exercises are just plain old regulated breathing.  You don't need a class to learn how to breathe.  Besides, no one can prepare you for contractions before you experience them yourself.  

5. My plan to have people over individually instead of having one big and potentially tacky baby shower has worked!  I love all the socializing this pregnancy has prompted!

6.  Baby Johnny is doing a fantastic job of growing big and strong.  He is still as active, but now his size makes it feel more like Wow! than Awww! My favorite part of the day is now the early afternoon, when I sit on the couch with a bowl of chocolate ice cream and eat it slowly while watching the Graham Norton Show on YouTube, and feel  Johnny's excited headbutts and kicks as the sugar reaches his system.  Boy, he goes wild for sweets!

7. I definitely have the penguin walk now.

8. Speaking of which, walking is a life saver.  I try to walk for at least an hour every day, and it does miracles for my sleep too.

9. Braxton Hicks are a bitch.  

10. John will be the best Daddy ever.  I fall in love with him over and over every day.

P.S. No Shelbies were harmed during this photo session.

Pool Party!

Americans don't have many holidays so they try to celebrate practically anything they can get away with.  Apparently Leap Year is one of those occasions.  I don't get it, but I don't have to.  Americans won't get jumping over a big fire to chase the spirits away, either.  So, John and I stopped by the Club House to see what's what.  There was wine for those who are allowed to drink wine, and cheese for pregnant me.  There were fruit plates and a (gasp!) chocolate fountain.  There was a pool table, music, and scores of neighbors mingling and munching on sandwiches.  It was sort of fun, but I mostly enjoyed the walk afterwards, when we looked up at the sky and saw Jupiter and Venus aligned with the Moon.

Below: The Cool Pool (as I like to call it) the way it presumably looks before and after a few glasses of champagne.

 

I'm turning Japanese, I really think so.

John and I spontaneously decided to visit the Hakone Estate & Gardens today and I went wild with my camera.  I took advantage of the wonderful light and snapped some portraits of us that illustrate the actual size of my belly.  I am ginormous, have got no chin, and I only entered month 8! Sigh. 

Remember the announcement I was going to make?  Well, some of you got quite excited, but I suppose it's much trivial than you thought. The short of it is that I finally managed to come up with a proper format and layout for my photo portfolio and I can proudly present it to you...on the condition that you won't laugh too hard at the fact that it's still mostly bare of content.

Only two of the pages are finished - I am still to showcase the Portrait, Landscape, Art Prints, etc. categories - but I am parallel posting on the main feed about my current photo projects, so overall it looks pretty good.

Check out the rest of the Hakone Gardens photos, which are magical by the way, on photosbybobby.blogspot.com

Welcome to Johnlandia!

I had a lot of fun titling this post.

You can also imagine how I often have trouble getting my husband's attention.  I could be sitting right next to him on the couch, asking him something, and there would be not only zero response, but also no sign that he hears me at all.  Minutes later he would snap out of it and upon my reproachful look he would say: "Oh, but I thought you were talking to the cat...!"

I suspect that John turns his ears off when he works - it's a power saving feature.  But then again, this is exactly why I love him.

Don't you find his long hair to be most definitely awesome?  Don't bother, it's a rhetorical question. 

P.S. For John's benefit, this third laptop on the right is actually mine.  

Always strive to excel, but only on weekends.

~Richard Rorty

We woke up exactly at 8 am and made it to the Farmers' Market in Sunnyvale at 9 , right on time for the freshest French Bakery cinnamon twists and sugar cookies.  The good stuff go first, so John waited promptly in line (yes, there was a line for these treats) and we had an ad hoc breakfast while browsing through the rest of the stands for fresh strawberries, organic broccoli, and the crunchiest Japanese cucumbers you can imagine.  It was a bright but awfully windy, and the chill took away some of the morning's charm, yet I was compensated well - most farmers consider it good business to knock the price down for early customers, especially if they look as cute and as pregnant as I do.

I'm planning on cooking meatballs in tomato sauce later tonight, and there's also a Leap Year wine&cheese event at our apartment complex's Club House we consider checking out, but of course this is what weekends are for - shopping and cooking and eating, and eventually for, say, upgrading one's iPhone IOS version and watching The Adventures of Tintin.

Oh, and I have an exciting announcement to make soon, but maybe I'll keep you in suspense for a little while longer and save it for Sunday.  I hope you guys are procrastinating equally well this weekend!

The Light Phenomena Continues.

Light hunting is as good way to spend your time as any.  Chasing sunsets, waiting for sunrises, observing reflections, scrutinizing street lights, ogling bright spots, stargazing, stuff like that.  And the best part is, you don't even need a camera to do light hunting.  It's enormously rewarding all by itself!

I've posted about the light in my old apartment twice, and I recently bragged about the light in my new apartment.  Well, here's some more of that.  I can't help it - it's just so very cool to walk into a room and see an alien beam hanging casually from the wall. 

Another Day, Another Park

Mountain View's parks are nothing like London's parks, but hey ho, at least there are parks.  Yesterday I opened the sandals season and visited Pioneer Park, and today I plot to walk all the way to Bubb Park, which is just a small splash of green among suburban houses and cul de sacs.  Anything will do on a day like this, though - we're promised 24 degrees C and no wind.

Hanging out in parks is good on so many levels.  It hushes you up.  It reminds you there's a thing called "the country".  It makes you breathe more deeply.  It slows you down.  Thank goodness for town parks in America!  Along with independent coffee shops and bookstores, they keep me sane.  Parks are pregnant women's best friends, and one of writer's favorite thinking places.  I bring a legal pad along but even if I write no more than a distracted page, it feels great.  

P.S. Magnolias are awesome!

 

Parks I dearly miss: 

Broomfield Park, London

St. James's Park, London

Borisova Garden, Sofia

That* List

Here are some things you might not care to know about me but I'll share anyway.  To my benefit, I kept the list short, and the really embarrassing things I'll never tell.

1. I always drive with my shoes off.

2. I eat the white off the orange skins.

3. I like animals more than most people.  I believe that animals are smarter than most people too.  Among my favorite animals are cats, dogs, elephants, dolphins, horses, apes, beavers (and otters), and storks.  

4. I'm a convicted socialist.

5. Once I stole a small piece of the Coliseum.

6. I've always had a serious crush on Eddie Vedder.

7. There things I do regret in my life, both doing and not doing them.  I am not one of those people who say they would not change a thing if they had to do it over again.  If I could go back, I would not pierce my own belly button, I would make amends to friends and family, and I would definitely study and work much harder in order to succeed. 

8. The color of my socks and underwear must match, otherwise I feel uncomfortable.

9. I love food but the smell of anything fried first thing in the morning irritates the shit out of me.

10. I am deeply in love with my husband.  Eddie Vedder has nothing on John.  In fact, no man has anything on John.

11. I am very conservative and backwards in some ways.  Discriminating, even.  I am for the death penalty in cases of proven guilt when it comes to hurting children.  I don't accept people for who they are, but always expect more from them.  I often fall into cultural stereotypes.  I have little tolerance towards stupid or ignorant people.  I tend to be snobbish. I am working on my views but...it happens.

12. I don't think there's more beautiful and good place than Lovech, Bulgaria in the summertime.

13. I watch the same movies and read the same books once a year.  "Singles", Stephen King's It, stuff like that.  

14. I love to alternate periods of idleness with periods of intense activity.  Read: I take a great pleasure in not doing certain things for days, and then in trying to do them all at once in a few hours.

15. I love this blog.

16. I love my other blog.

17. I dream very vividly.  I hear music, see colors, I fly and I am able to control it.  It's rather amazing!

18. I get angry when I am in pain.

19. I love to laugh until my face hurts and I need to pee.

20. I have so much more to learn, do, see, feel!  I love life, and I want it to last as long as possible.

*Not an exhaustive or comprehensive list.

Sometimes All You Can Really Do Is Just Live

I've taken after my mom.  I have her wide hips, catish nose, and explosive temperament.  I also tend to care for others, for things, more than I care about myself.  It's a noble quality when I think of her, but a misgiving when I think of myself.  Somehow, I am not sure when and where, I failed to learn to put my own needs first.  I live with the conviction that the things I really want are unattainable, and hard or even impossible to achieve.  Dreams are indeed to be dreamt, not to come true... And the desire I feel, this desire to see the world saved, the people - good, and myself - happy, the desire to witness something truly extraordinary and to be a part of something great, it doesn't drive me forward.  It doesn't make me ambitious.  The desire simply feeds my spirit and puts my creative side at a relative ease so I don't go completely insane while I occupy myself with that part of life that is not made of dreams but of solid, material reality.  My worst character flaw is that I constantly allow myself to be distracted from the way of life I am destined to lead.  And the older I get, the less I dream, and the less I dream, the dreams themselves diminish and cease to excite me.  This is what they call the syndrome of the diminished horizons.

Maybe I should go hungry.

Maybe I must stop believing that the world is set in its ways and reject its conventions once more, like I did when I was a teenager.

Maybe I could do without the ready-made comforts and entertainments that are designed to only seemingly satisfy.

Maybe it's time to forget everyone else and do only what I think is good and right for me.

Maybe I would do just that, and not think twice about it ever again.

I tried to do it many times before, in many ways, never quite making it.  I tried with drugs, with art, with music; I tried with people and at places; I tried routine; I tried organically; I even tried to limit myself but it didn't work - 

- because it's not just one thing that will set me free and make me happy.  It's not either, or.  It's not only writing, only photography, only my relationship, only travelling the world, or only motherhood.  

It is everything.

Life is everything, and even though there are things I would prefer to have or experience more of, and other that I would prefer not to do, the world feels free and life - happy when I apply myself fully to whatever it is I do, when I am fully aware, confident, and when I live without self imposed limits or illusions.

In other words, you will be seeing more of me once again.  I just can't stay away because I now realize that I don't really have to.  Cliche or not, life is just too short not to do everything.  Or at least try to.

***

I walked all the way to Cuesta Park today - Baby Johnny is having too much chocolate ice cream lately and I needed to burn it off.  Plus, it's a crime to stay indoors when it's 22C outside.  I wrote for two hours and walked back.  

Now both the baby and the writer inside of me are perfectly content.

A Guide to the Retired Blogger Cheat Sheet

* Randomly drop in and post a few Instagrams;

* Add a short and casual commentary that is supposedly not an update about how your current life is going but actually is;

* Pretend to ignore the feeling that your readers aren't taking you seriously because you are breaching your own decision to stay away from blogging; 

* End on a good note with a vague promise to only blog again when absolutely necessary (only on the rare occasions of giving birth, winning a Pulitzer, etc.) 

* Repeat the above steps in a week or so.

Who am I kidding anyways - I am too busy to blog, and loving it too much not to.  The good news, however, is that I am spending more time working on my writing than  hanging out here.  I am spending more time nesting than working on my writing, but that's life right now.  I like to think of myself as of a domesticated, yet confident pregnant woman, rather as of a frustrated writer.  Baby Johnny is 31 weeks old and is sending you all mighty kicks!  

Also, I am completely obsessed with Goodreads, because as the saying goes, there's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house - in my case, when there're guests to be had over and a baby to prepare for.  

Now, look at these blooming things!  I try to walk through the discomforts of the last couple of pregnancy months and suburbia is being very supportive, at least visually.  John and I find not only relaxation during these walks, but books, cats, and funny chalk drawings too.

In short, I am having a good time.  I hope you are too.

 

Oh, Baby.

My friend Anne was so kind to lend me her baby for a test drive the other day and now that I had it rolling around on my livingroom floor, I am starting to believe that I can do this.  It can't be very complicated.  The baby drooled a lot, needed one diaper change and consequential feeding ("Give me your boobs!"), but mostly he was cute as a button.  I made banitsa of which both Anne and Kieran approved, and we talked babies - an activity I seem to be perpetually engaged these days.  Funnily enough, the topic neither irritates nor bores me anymore.  In fact, I had loads of fun putting together an Amazon Baby Registry.  You should check it out and get us something, because we are poor but we have a great taste, and besides, Baby Johnny totally deserves it.

When I am not nesting, attending childbirth classes, or having friends over, I am sleeping.  I wish I could say that I am also writing, but I am stuck with the usual mere 24 hours a day, instead of the 30 I need.  But that's that, and I am okay with it.  Quite happy, actually.  

Happy weekend to you all!

I'd rather fall in chocolate!

But falling in love wasn't that bad either.

I drew him a card with a robot and he gave me tulips in a pot.  

We had a quiet time at home, ate salad, watched a comedy sitcom downloaded from the internet, and cuddled all evening, because why sweat it?!  Everyday is LUB day for us.

Hi, My Name Is Bobby And I Am Blogaholic

And I cannot retire before I have said a few more things first.  

1.  Kids nowadays say "rage" instead of "party".  Man, I raged so hard last night I donated my beautiful Fendis to the San Diego zoo waiting staff.  Because the current generation of 18-25 year olds is the only one that had casual sex with random people and did something crazy while drunk or on drugs...besides the kids of the 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's, and of course, the early 2000's. 

"Rage".  How original.  Why don't you instead try doing something with your life for a change?

2.  BT Junkie has shut down after 7 years of splendid work of liberating data online.  You will be greatly missed.  

3.  And even more bad news: Kodak goes bankrupt, and action referred to as "one of the biggest corporate casualties of the digital age".  I have no sympathy for the damages to the corporation, but I am nostalgic about what the brand name used to represent.  It's sad to see a symbol of an era go like this.  Let's just hope that Kodak will keep making film. 

4.  All hipsters must die!  That way they will stop hijacking coffee culture, rap and rock music, and various clothing items such as rolled-sleeve blazers, high-waste trousers, fedora hats, and leggings.  Besides, one Chloë Sevigny is enough for this world.

5.  Speaking of style, I figured out what's missing in the most recent Red Hot Chili Peppers music: the FUNK! 

6.  And speaking of music:

• Did you guys hear that there will be a new Crazy Horse album?  The rowdiest and loudest Neil Young project springs back to life!
• I can't ignore how much Leonard Cohen looks like Dustin Hoffman.  Or vice versa.  

• I have decided that "Nan, You're a Window Shopper" undoubtedly has the worst lyrics to the best melody of all Lily Allen songs.  And why isn't she posting a picture of her baby already?!
• Courtney Love is now a pet killer.  In my heart I was always on Courtney's side but it's not 1993 anymore and this is not cute.
• Jack White solo.  Orgazmic!

•  OK Go go viral with the most creatively recorded song and video in rock in the last decade.  Much obliged for the breath of fresh air.

7. Tiger bread, our favorite while we lived in the UK, has been renamed to Giraffe bread after a suggestion from a 3 and a half year old girl.  Makes sense, actually.

Not a Giraffe bread :)

8.  I have two more articles I'd like to publish here before I leave you to the mercy of the Internet where you will have to read all those other blogs that suck.  One is on the state of contemporary music which at some point turns into a socio-cultural criticism, and the other is on fake smiling, which also at some point turns into a socio-cultural criticism.  Poignant stuff.

9.  What's next:  

• We are going to a birth class this weekend but I won't be reporting from it regardless of how tempting it is to make fun of the whole thing because a time in one's life comes when some things should be taken more seriously than others, especially when in comes to learning how to do infant CPR, and how to most easily and painlessly pop out a small dog-sized human being from between your legs.
• Valentine's Day is also our engagement anniversary.  John asked me to become his wife on the top of the London Eye in 2008, and here we are - married, knocked up, and still very much in love.  I won't be reporting from that celebration either, because I will be too busy trying to seduce John without my enormous belly getting in the way some things are private. 

• Writing, of course - that's what's next.  I already wrote a page (a beautiful page too - about the sounds of Bulgarian mornings and the smells of Bulgarian evenings) despite how insanely busy I was in the past week, and it looks like this is what I will be also doing every day until around April 23.  I dare not make any plans further than my due date.  It's the Great Unknown, but who says I can't have fun till then?!  
• I will be having friends over and will cook Bulgarian meals for them.
• Registering for the expensive baby stuff we don't want to buy ourselves on Amazon and hoping that my cooking is good enough for my friends will purchase it for us.  I am of course kidding.  (No, I'm not)

10.  All images that don't represent Autobot bread, hipsters, or screenshots, are by yours truly.  Isn't it fantastic to have taken an image to illustrate almost every article in this blog?  Indeed it is.